Feeling nice and calm and relaxed about not having run one kilometer since Saturday.  (Who am I kidding, every night I have night sweats about losing fitness, hills and The North Face in general).  However, I have got my backside into the saddle of the new bike and racked up some kays around the lake at work in an attempt to keep up the fitness.

However tonight was bike riding school.  And, lo and behold, bike riding school is held at the track at work.  Bonus!

We registered and first thing we were going to learn was corners.  Corners!  Who doesn't know how to ride a bike around a corner?  Well according to Brett, our trusty teacher man, you have to have the opposite leg straight (opposite to the corner) because it keeps you steady.  Or something.  I was so busy checking out everyone elses bikes and their gear and their bling that I wasn't really listening.


Next we had to ride with one hand.  Clearly this is to give passing cars the bird should they try to cut you off.  Obviously very important in cycling, and therefore number two in the curriculum.   I passed with flying colours, giving everyone a jaunty wave as I passed.  


Next was "pace lining" which is cyclist speak for riding in a pack and taking turns to be in front.  That was the best fun.  Except when I turned to make some smart alec remark to another rider and nearly stuck my wheel through her spokes.  (Spokes probably isn't a politically correct term in cycling speak).

And I kept forgetting that I was last and had to move up.  So I kept getting left behind. 

And by this stage Brett was clearly of the impression that I was some kind of retard and told me to up the gears, down the gears, brake, speed up, at all kinds of inopportune moments.  Why can't I cruise along in a high gear?  It makes me go faster.   But no, it appears you are meant to go in an "easy" gear.  My legs don't really go that fast. 


Anyway, I was the only one without the silly clip in shoes, however was informed that I was working twice as hard by not having them.  So - getting them this week.  If I am going to scunder myself by having to drive one handed round corners, surely I should just bundle up all the embarrassment (as I am bound to fall over) into one night out and be done with it?


I mentioned that my hands were not long enough to put the brakes on hard enough and some lady kindly pointed out that if I had spent the money on "decent" brake pads, it would be far easier!!!!  Cyclists!!


I was also the only one without glasses.  Now, I am quite short and glasses always make me feel even closer to the ground which is a sensation I am not keen on.  However, after "catching" a fly right in the eye, I think glasses are important.  A mouth guard might be a good idea as well.


And a speedometer thing.


And gloves.


And cleats and shoes.


And an outfit.

And.....